If you want to become irrelevant, simply stop. Of course, this is presuming you were relevant to begin with. I didn’t plan on going post-less for more months than I care to imagine but it happened. Truth be told, for a number of reasons, I lost interest in writing and it trickled down into having no desire to be in the kitchen as well as other parts of my life. Sure, there were moments of frying up some bacon that were Instagram-worthy, but those moments were fleeting and I’ve been eating more ghetto than I care to admit.
Thankfully though, the desire to write and more importantly to create came back, but I felt as if I was being held back. The fear of putting words on paper or a screen turned into (and continues to) be a complete block of confidence in myself and the belief that no one has any interest in what I have to say to begin with.
This is not meant as a pity party, because pity is the last thing anyone would need to help overcome this feeling. I’ve been sitting down and writing for the last couple of days. It’s all nonsense, but at least it’s nonsense that I’m writing down rather than floating in my head. So, it’s safe to say the garbage I’ve written on those pages (that no one will ever see) has helped to produce this post and that’s better than I’ve done in the last four months.
So when I woke up the other day and wanted to shoot a sunset, I was happy and surprised that I wanted to shoot anything, so I listened to myself and got to it. I found it fitting that the sun was fleeting and lasted for about thirty seconds before settling in behind the clouds. It did though accomplish its goal, it felt like something inside me had been awoken from its slumber while sitting on the washed up log with my camera in my cold hands.
My gratitude goes out to Melissa and Sam (the dog) for introducing me to Iona Beach in Richmond, BC. Also thanks to Sam for reminding me that life can use a few more smiles and there is joy in paw-constructed ditches.